friendship.
the wonderful thing that keeps the world connected, the miracle which prevents one from feeling lonely, and the irreplaceable relationship that makes one feel loved and happy.

friends arent just people whom you could say hi and bye to.
friends are people who really try to understand you, to feel with their heart, what your heart is feeling at the moment. your real friends wouldn't want to see you upset, they love to see you smile, and if they could, they would do whatever they can to see you happy and blissful.
they wouldn't jeer at you unneccessarily, you would tell you if you said something stupid, but they wouldn't criticise you in such a way that you end up feeling dreadful. they might laugh when you did something ugly, but they wouldn't tell the world what you did that day. they would accompany you when you have nobody else, as long as they could make it.
when you are upset, they would most likely be too. they would feel irritated when you are upset over a minor thing, but they wouldn't criticise you right in the face, they would first comfort you until when you are feeling better, and then they would tell you nicely that actually you needn't feel upset over it cos things aren't that bad at all.
they wouldn't feel awkward when you cry in front of them, their first reaction would be reaching out to give you a hug, to lend you their shoulder, they wouldn't ask you what was wrong, they would wait until you tell them themselves. they would be interested to find out, but they wouldn't press you for an answer.

real friends would feel very comfortable when talking about the most awkward things. they would be able to talk freely about private things that one wouldn't tell anyone, and they would trust each other not to tell others what they have discussed. they would tell each other how they feel towards each other, but only after making sure the other person would like to hear about it, would benefit after hearing it, and would not get hurt after hearing it.
friends would not blame the other for being over-sensitive, but would learn from the incident and thereafter care for their feelings even more.

real friends would sense easily when you're feeling unhappy, they wouldn't need you to hint or tell them. real friends do not neccessarily talk everyday, but naturally when apart for a long time, they will feel weird and start to miss you, as though the two of you really need a long long talk. when together, you start to talk continuously and you feel warm and happy and contented.

real friends do get angry at each other, get sick of each other and so on, but as time passes, they get surprised at how they could have felt that way and eventually still remain as firm friends. they may not clear every single misunderstanding they had, but they forget the misunderstandings as time go by, and are still the best of friends. of cos, cleared misunderstandings would have also helped them inprove their relationship.

true friends would try to tell themselves to ignore it when you quarrel with each other, or are cold towards each other, but they still get upset and affected over it. they get greatly upset when their friend snaps at them, or when they did something they feel they aren't his or her real friend. they get upset for days and days over the most minor problems they faced, something you wouldn't bother if the person wasn't that important to you at all.

friendship need not fulfil all the above requirements. feel, with your heart, who really treats you as her real friend, and who do you feel is your real friend?
count, how many people do you feel that way? how many people are you guilty towards? and how many people do you feel are your true friends?
i admit i do feel guilty towards certain people, but all the more im sure of who i consider my real friends. for them, they will always be a part of me.

i hope i'll get over everything soon.